There’s more than meets the eye when it comes to your kids’ gaming times.
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I grew up playing video games – mostly ones in the Halo franchise. For better or (more often) for worse, they were a significant part of my childhood. But it wasn’t the core game content itself – the shooting aliens and futuristic super soldiers – that was at the root of most of my problems: it was everything else around it.
Too much and too little
When a child plays a video game that has violence, loud noises, bright/flashing lights, and/or vibrant color changes, their brains can quickly become overstimulated. Neurological overstimulation can cause the amygdala (the “emotional” part of the brain) to take over unencumbered by the prefrontal cortex (the “logical” part). This is an immense oversimplification, but it’s important to understand the basics of this concept to understand the risks and kids’ behavior while gaming.
With developing brains that only have partially-developed prefrontal cortexes, overstimulation can take away nearly all logical reasoning abilities, which you may have seen if they’ve ever had a meltdown after you made them stop playing a video game… Too much content, too little ability to process it.
Everything else
This can have other effects beyond the game, too. The first time I was exposed to pornography wasn’t in a video game, but it was because of one. I was obsessively scrolling an online forum about the game I was playing between online matches, hoping to find more cool things about it. Someone posted something interesting about the game with a supposedly-related link that I clicked on, but the link was actually to an extremely graphic video on a pornography website. All because I was too obsessed with this game and being careless online.
Besides that risk, there are plenty of other things that could be of concern with your kids’ video game time.
- Discord
- Lots of gamers communicate with friends and gaming groups over an app like Discord. If your kid does, do you know who they communicate with and what content is being shared on there?
- Lack of joy in the real world
- Repeated overstimulation can mess with their rewards system and make them numb to the joys of being in nature and with people.
- Social struggles
- Kids who spend more time in fantasy worlds then the real world often have difficulties with normal social interactions
- Laziness
- Overstimulation can cause anxiety and adrenaline, and the downturn of those feelings can be tiring, leading gamers to avoid chores and important tasks to rest up for their next online adventures.
- Addiction
- Kids (especially those biologically predisposed to addictive tendencies) are very vulnerable to become obsessed and addicted and unable to breakaway – mentally or physically – from their games
- Anger/rage
- I probably don’t need to explain this one, but overstimulation and an overabundance of emotions from gaming often leads to over-the-top angry reactions during and after gaming.
There are likely other concerns here and issues you may have seen as a result of gaming, but it should be clear that gaming – while not inherently bad – has a lot of associated risks and challenges that you need to be aware of and work to mitigate for your family.
What now?
As you might have seen in previous newsletters, I like to ask families to take a pause before rushing in to trying to change things. Often, when something bad happens with tech, parents have a knee-jerk reaction to want to rip it all away and toss their systems into the garbage. Dramatic changes may have to happen, but it’s important to first slow down and evaluate things objectively to make sure that you make the right changes for your family. Sweeping changes that don’t address the root of the problems may cause more harm than good.
Observe
So before diving into any big changes, just take note of the current gaming environment in your home. Here are some questions (there are likely many more, so don’t stop here!) to help guide your observation time.
How much time are my kids spending playing video games?
Have there been strong emotional reactions during or after gaming?
Are my kids sleeping less after playing video games?
Are my kids isolating themselves playing games, or playing with friends? Are the friends in the room with them or connected online?
Are my kids asking for more gaming time/gaming systems? Do I feel like they have the capacity, or would that interfere with chores, school, sports, sleep, social time, etc.?
The questions to ask that will help you the most largely depend on your specific circumstances, so take your time to think on things and ask yourself, your spouse, and/or your kids pointed questions to understand how everyone feels about things currently and what you want things to look like in the future.
Act
Once you have an idea of what changes you make, it’s time to give it a try! Will everything go perfectly on the first attempt? Probably not; but that’s okay! Try things out, and adjust as needed. There are a variety of changes you could make, but here are some common ones I’ve seen:
- Reduce screen time. Oftentimes, parents find that “everything in moderation” rings true for games. It may not be the content of the game that’s the real issue – it might just be the amount of time spent on it! A slow, phased approach is often a good way to go about screen time reductions.
- Change how you play. Alongside reducing screen time, another great way to reduce the risks mentioned previously is to change the way games are played in your household. You can have looser limits on games your kids play with siblings, friends, or parents versus the ones that are played all alone by themselves. You could also replace button-clicky games with more active ones, like Wii Sports, Just Dance, or Ring Fit.
- Cold turkey. Some families who have experienced major issues with gaming have found success in getting rid of all gaming systems all at once and not looking back. If this would be a major shift for your family, it would need to be done carefully and with the support of a professional counselor if it’s in response to anger or addiction issues. But if this is a step you feel would be the best one for you and your family to support your kids, then go for it!
Wherever you’re at in your internet safety journey, there are always great things you can do to continue improving life for yourself and those around you. Check out the rest of my blog to learn more about a variety of internet safety topics, and feel free to reach out to me to talk more about the individual needs and questions you and your family have.
Until next time,
Casey
